Shattered
by MusicIsMyLife2K13
Summary: After her outing Santana just wants the pain to go away but will she go through with it or will a certain blonde dancer stop her. Warning Self Harm, attempted suicide, outing, mentions of abuse and homophobia.


**So I've decided to write another fanfic. And warning if you like Finn and don't read this and also there is abuse suicide and self harm in this story so if they are triggering or anything don't read it.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own glee but if I did Finn would be hated by everyone and Quinntana would be real.**

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**Shattered**

**Chapter 1**

**Santana's P.O.V**

"_Whore"_

"_The only job you're gonna have is working on a pole"_

"_Slut"_

"_Hey Sanatana, why don't you just come out of the closet."_

"_Dyke"_

"_You're in love with Brittany and she might not love you back."_

"_Unloved"_

"_You know what I think you are, a coward."_

"_Coward"_

"_I'm just trying to make her normal."_

"_Freak"_

"_Everyone has secrets Santana, they're called secrets for a reason."_

"_Secrets"_

"_I want you to leave this house. I don't ever want to see you again."_

"_Unwanted"_

"_My daughter is not gay. Get out I don't ever want to see you in this house ever again Santana. Get out._

"_Disowned."_

The thoughts ran through my head as I sat fully clothed in the cheerios shower stalls. I turned the water to the hottest it would go and pulled a knife out of my bag. I stared at the knife and ran my thumb along the blade to see if it is sharp enough. One swipe across my throat and it will all be over, I won't have to deal with the bullying, the disgusted looks, the whispers and most of all being in love with someone and them not loving you back. It's just like Finn said,

" You're in love with Brittany and she might not love you back.".

Most people hang themselves, jump off of buildings and take overdoses when they want it all to end but not me because I want to feel the pain. I want to be able to pay for all the wrong and disgusting things I've done, being gay and falling in love with Brittany. I run the knife along my wrists a few times and watched the crimson blood fall from the cuts and onto the stall floor where they are washed down the drain by the scorching water pouring down on me.

_Haha is that the best you can do, make a few ting little scratches on your wrists. You're a coward no wonder no-one likes you. Your parents and your Abuela disowned you. Quinn ratted you out to coach Sue, got into endless fights with you and even tried to steal your man... but I guess that last bit doesn't matter anymore since you're a filthy disgusting dyke. The glee club never liked you in the first place, wouldn't blame them, they've given everyone else second chances except you, they kicked you out, called you out and never talked to you. And finally sweet and innocent Brittany she doesn't love you she picked the 'cripple' over you. You're her second choice, you always were and always will be. You're an embarrasment to the 'Lopez name'. Just end it. Kill yourself, everyone will be better off with out you._

"Shut Up." I scream. Tears start streaming down my face because every negative thing about me I'm thinking is true. No one likes me, my parents and grandmother never want to see me again, my 'so called' friends hate me and my best friend and _my _Brittany chose a cripple over me. I start slitting my wrists again and when I can't feel anything I start making deeper gashes. Blood gushes from the cuts I just made but I don't feel anything. Just one slit across my throat and it over. I bring the knife up to my throat when hear _her _voice.

"Hello is anybody in here." I quickly shove the knife into my bag and hold my breath.

"I know somebody is in here I can hear the water. I may be dumb but I'm not stupid." She shouted. Oh Brittany dumb and stupid mean the same thing.

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**Brittany's P.O.V**

I was just about to go home to feed Lord Tubbington when Coach Sue stopped me and told me to lock Cheerio locker rooms. I skipped up to the Cheerio's locker room's and smiled when I saw the drawings on the wall that me and Sannie did. I run my fingers over the picture of a heart with me and Sannie's initials in it. I miss Sannie ever since I started dating Artie she hasn't talked to me as much and I don't know why. I mean I know confessed her feeling for me and I'm proud of her but I can't just break Artie's heart like that. It wouldn't be fair to break another part of him since his legs are already broken. I somebody moving in the locker room so I go in. I can hear one of the showers running so I walk up to the stalls. I shout to let them know I'm here,

"Hello is anybody here." I get no reply.

"I know somebody is in here I can hear the water. I may be dumb but I'm not stupid." Wait doesn't dumb and stupid both mean stupid. I just called myself stupid I wish Sannie was here she'd tell me I'm not. I still get no answer. Maybe somebody just forgot to turn off the water. People should always turn off the water, it's just a waste and if people keep doing that there'll be no water left fot the ducks or gay sharks. Oh well looks like I'm just gonna have to turn it off. I walk up to the shower stall and pull back the curtain. I scream at the sight in front off me, Sannie's sitting there in a pool of her own blood and she's barely concious. I run to her and shut off the water. I cradle her in my arms and try to keep her concious.

"Santana please stay awake. I'm gonna get you some help." I sob.

"COACH SUE GET IN HERE NOW." I scream at the top of my lungs. I look down at Sannie and she's starting to close her eyes.

"Santana Maria Lopez don't you dare close your eyes." I say firmly. She tries her best to keep her eyes open. Coach Sue comes in to the locker rooms complaining,

"Brittany I'm busy and I've already told you that there are no monsters in the shower stalls-" I cut her off midway and scream,

"Call 911 now." Her eyes go wide when she see's Sannie.

"Oh my god Brittany-" I cut her off again,

"Just call a fucking ambulance PLEASE." I sob. She whips her phone out of her pocket and dials 911.

"H-hello can I get and ambulance to McKinley High School in Lima." She explains what happened into the phone, when she's hung up she shove's her phone into her pocket.

"Brittany I'm gonna have to wait at the entrance of the school for them to come, do you want me to call anybody for you and Santana." She said softly. I seriously don't know who to say because even though she told the glee club that her parents were okay with it I know they kicked her out. I doubt she'd want the glee club there.

"Ehh just Quinn." I whispered. She's the only person I can think of that Santana trusts. Coach Sue nods and leaves the room. Santana's breathing is starting to slow down and her eyes keep fluttering open and closed. I start to panic soon enough she's gonna lose conciousness. Quinn bursts into the shower stalls out of breath.

"Coach Sue called me and explained everything and I just ran here." She says panting.

"Quinnie what am I suppose to do she's gonna lose conciousness." I sob. She comes over and sits beside me and takes one of Sannie's hands.

"Britt pull yourself together we need to stay strong for Sannie. We just have to keep talking nonsense to her to keep her concious." Quinn tells me.

"Hey Sannie remember the first time we met in Kindergarten, you were the little puerto rican girl, who could barely speak english, that nobody would talk to. You weren't like the rest of the little girls because while they were playing with dolls and pretending to be princesses you would always sit in the sand box on your own and play with toy trucks and cars. Me and Britt were already best friends and when we saw you sitting in the sandbox on your own and we thought you looked lonely so we decided we would go over there and talk to you. We instantly became friends even though we could barely talk to each other because you could only speak little bits of english." I said, smiling remembering that day. That was one of the best days of my life, it was the day I met my bestest friend in the whole wide world.

"Or do you remember when we were in 2nd grade and the teacher was asking us what we would like to be when we grew up. Everybody elses answers were like policemen, superhero's, princesses, firemen, nurses, doctors or in Brittany's case a unicorn but your answer was a singer, most of the kids laughed and said you'd never make as a singer but me and Britt told them to shut up and then the teacher asked you to sing you opened up your mouth and sang with the most beatiful voice ever, that shut everybody up. You were amazing and you should totally still follow your dream and Santana I've read some of the songs you wrote and they're amazing." Quinn said her voice cracking multiple times due to the fact she was crying. Santana's eyes were open and tears were streaming down her face as we talked about when we were younger, she even joined in for a bit.

"Britt, Quinn I love both of you so much." That was the last thing she said before she passed out. I screamed and Quinn held me and tried to calm me down but nothing was working. Just then the paramedics ran in with Coach Sue following behind.

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**Okay so there's the first chapter of the new story. Please read and review and also if you haven't read my other Glee story called 'Please Don't' go check that one out.**

**Sorcha xxx **


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